Inanely Brilliant

Last Minute Freak-Out

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not good at sharing my space.  Basically this means I don't live with people, including boyfriends.  Especially not boyfriends.  The guy I dated before K spent probably 3 nights out of the week at my house, and I often thought that was too many.  His presence ruined my routine, especially my 'lay around for 4 hours in just my bathrobe' weekend routine.  So I think it's pretty understandable why, with only 5.5 hours until K's arrival, I'm freaking out just a little bit.

I love K, I really do.  He's the most amazing man I've ever been with, and I can actually see myself marrying him (a first, as marriage isn't necessarily at the top of my list of things to do).  I just don't know if I'm ready to live with him yet.  What if we fight all summer?  What if it's 2 weeks of absolute bliss, and then 3.5 months of 'I hate you' hell?  These are all unfounded fears, I know that - we never fight, and we practically lived together last semester, and didn't get tired of each other.  But this is totally different.  We're in a foreign country, and we're going to be (almost) completely reliant on one another for companionship.  I suppose if we get through this, then it's more than likely that we'll get married.  Maybe it's the pressure from that realization that is making me crazy.  I don't know.  Regardless, I'm going nuts over here waiting for him. 

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posted by MelissaJ @ 6:11 PM