This is Fucking Ridiculous
NQEx sent me this email today:...the reason I broke up with you the way I did was because I wanted us to be able to remain friends. I didn't want you to go away to school and have me meet someone, and then break up with you over someone else. I was scared to death of losing our friendship. Of course, as it happened, I realized I had made a mistake, and wanted you to forgive me for it, and you weren't up for that. Nevertheless, part of the reason the whole thing happened the way it did was because I didn't want to lose my best friend, which it seems that I have.We agreed before I left that since I still had feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment towards him, he wouldn't contact me, and I would contact him when I felt ready. I was almost ready, too. But this is just another example of how he wants everything to be on his terms. He just cannot get it into his head that my life doesn't revolve around his wants and needs anymore. It really makes me angry when he does things like this. He broke up with me. He was the one who said he didn't think he was in love with me anymore. And then he was the one who just assumed that when he was ready, we'd get back together again. It's all right there, in that email. I'm so angry. He will never respect what I want. Part of me wants to email him back and say, 'fuck you, you blew it. again' but then he'd see that as a sign that it's ok to talk again. So do I blow him off? I thought we'd be able to go back to being friends, but it's clear to me now that we can't.
Sorry. I know I promised I would not write.
posted by MelissaJ @ 10:09 PM
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