Why's it got to be so complicated?
NQEx is getting mushy on me. Really mushy. He's taken to calling me multiple times a day to tell me that he misses me. Yesterday he was telling me how he was thinking of all these things he'd like to do in the future, and how he'd like to do them all with me. It's a sweet sentiment, and I don't take his feelings for granted, but it's driving me crazy. I think I've entered the angry and bitter phase of the break-up, because instead of feeling hopeful or happy when he says these things, I feel tense and a little irritated. He broke up with me, after all. Why is he telling me he hopes we can live together when I get home, and get married a few years later? I don't think NQEx realizes that I may not come home at all. Or that I'm not sure he's right for me anymore. Maybe he is, but right now I don't know.2DD and I are dating, but I haven't told NQEx. I don't think I will, either. It would probably only further complicate things, and make either one or both of us resentful of the other. 2DD is a great guy. He treats me well, and we have a lot of fun together. Do I think this has long-term potential? I don't know. Probably not. But who knows? Finding a potential husband isn't a priority for me. What I like about him is that he understands why I want to go into International Development, and why running around third world countries sounds appealing to me. That's something completely foreign to NQEx. 2DD gets that about me. And right now, that's what I need.
posted by MelissaJ @ 8:46 AM
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